Sunday, August 16, 2015

Cabbage Happens

If there is one thing I hate more than Iggy Azalea in this world, that would be CABBAGES.the mere smell of it fills me with so much rage that it makes me want to learn nuclear science, make a nuclear bomb and blast off the whole world.

Only me and my mom were at home that day so I decided to bring some food from outside to give her a break as well. As we lower middle class people often do, I went to  the local Chinese to get some authentic Chinese food made by Bruce Lee him self ( who's not even Chinese yeah).

Having expressed my feelings towards cabbage, now you can imagine how wonderful I felt, when I brought home a mixed chop suey or "chopsi" according to our "rice බාස්", and when I opened the little miserable cardboard box that my potentially tasty meal was entrapped in, all I found was a mix of rice, chicken that tasted like shit, aaaaand.... a shit load of CABBAGE!!

Sparing the occasional piece of carrot, sliced to a size that can be measured by nano meters, The whole "chopsi" was infested with cabbage!! All over it like Honda Vezels on high-level road. It was like having your worst nightmare materialize into one shitty portion of Sri Lankan-Chinese take away food.

Having no option but to eat what we have, me and mom made up our minds to sacrifice the needs of our taste buds to fulfill the primary human requirement which is hunger, of course. But it was no easy task as the chop suey seemed to  contain one kilo of cabbage for every man living in China and alas those fucking Chinese have the highest population in the world.

If you, my dear reader, ever visit our humble home, you will notice that we have no barrier when it comes to language usage. As all residents are well and truly adults, we often take the liberty to express our selves in the "most creative ways" possible. I took full advantage of this verbal freedom and cursed the while world as I munched on the horrible chopsi  chop suey with much disgust. I thought of 100 ways to kill my "rice බාස්", cursed the whole of Pannipitiya and its fast food restaurants and swore I'll never eat this shit again . I didn't even spare the poor farmers in Nuwaraeliya who were responsible of bringing the damned cabbages into this world . in short, a lot of "අ"s and "හු"s were pronounced from my spoiled mouth that night. 

My mother however, as humble and innocent as she is, remained silent through out my whole sermon of kunuharupa, and patiently munched on her dinner . I finished eating and continued my verbal rage on the whole world, "There's nothing but cabbage in this cursed chop suey", I said, stil grumpy from the horror I just experienced.

Mom kept focused on her dinner and Suddenly, her face lit up!  she held something in her right hand and was smiling like a child who found a marble on the playground.

She looked at me as if she has won mahajana sampatha's grand prize, and said  "hey look what I found, a piece of carrot ", with the smile of an innocent happy child :).

That made me wonder, I was so upset about going through cabbages that i forgot to enjoy the pieces of carrot that I stumbled upon along the way. ( Oh I forgot to tell you guys, I love carrot <3 ).

So my dear reader, we all go through a whole lot of cabbages in our lives, and I know, it sucks! Sometimes you feel like the cabbages are endless , and sometimes it really is! But let us not let those fucking cabbages bring us down ! Let's make sure that we don't let the shitty taste of cabbage, take away the joy and pleasure of all the teeny tiny pieces of carrot that we find :)

Thanks mom, for teaching me to appreciate the small carrots in life.

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